its been some time since i blog..
i dun have e mood..
things has not been going smoothly for mi
was still trying to cope wif the night duty thing
guess.. i feel v lonely at night when im working
shes not with mi n i miss her..
things starts to change between us..
i duno.. suddenly i feel so tired..
tired of trying.. tired of loving her..
was disappointed in e way she treats mi..
my bday is coming n.. i duno whether will she give mi my biggest present..
to spend my bday wif mi..
i took a long leave
she didnt..
my bday she's working..
i duno whether will she take off..
i plan to spend my bday.. not her..
she.. din plan anything..
maybe in her heart..
im still not someone special..
been sick..
quite sick actually..
went work despite having mc..
turns out 2 of my team members took mc too..
if i nv go, 3 mc rates..
e highest ever in a night duty
she was there for mi..
cooking and pestering mi to take med..
even boil some liang teh for mi..
hard on her.. i appreciate her concern..
was actually feeling upset abt an email..
saw her email addressed to her ex ard april..
can see shes reli hurt and unwilling to let go..
they are still in each others life
only diff is.. they are not steadies..
how shd i react?
i expected tis.. i shd be prepared..
but y is my hrt aching?
though its at april and now its june
wad difference does it make?
feeling is there, its there
she shd not start off wif mi knowing she haven let go totally..
i shd not get involved with her knowing she haven forget
we both knew its not a pure start off..
y must we plunge ourselves into tis endless abyss?
now e love is there
e routine e habits..
letting go will be even harder..
holding back.. is there a possibility?
