cant get to slp..
am feeling tired..
eyes were dry n i reli wan to slp..
but somehow my stupid mind is fully awake...

went to watch 'the lake house'
hmm.. not bad..
i cant say its v romantic..
but i guess its like a fairytale la..
meeting someone from far den get together..
something like 'sleepless in seattle'

wad will u do if someone u likes have interest in somebody else?
will u try to forget tt person? or u dun wana give up??

my frd wana delete her memories..
i told her...
"wads e point if eventually u still cant forget?"

y force urself to forget something when u know u cant?
it only lead u to think of tt person more..

hai.. loving someone else..
i went through tt pharse b4..
it was reli terrible..
i mean.. not to say im feeling ok now..

hai..
L O V E..
a complicating 4 letter word...

1:15 AM;
I made my mark

tis is "DA TOH" (meaning big head.. wahahaha)

given to mi by my huang nian po
haha..
v cute huh..
she use tt to tickle my ear!!
use tis method to wake mi up!

but i still love her...
oh.. n my da toh..

off to work in 1 hr time..

sian ah..

i find my self missing her.....

let it be good pls..

4:02 PM;
I made my mark

was having a rest tis few days..
i guess she too..

1st off we went to zoo (yeah zoo.. see animals) haha
e next off day we went for a swim..
tt silly ger actually stay in the Jacuzzi for more than an hour..
(she dun reli know how to swim.. hehe)
well.. she got headache later..
haha.. face was red body was hot.. ..... like tomato..
wahahaha

on e 3rd and 4th day..
we practically did nothing..
just watching vcds and she cooks for mi..
appreciate her efforts..
well.. she cook till she tired..
maybe alot of preparations to be done..
its delicious..
maybe she can open a stall or something..
... den i will be her regular customer..

seems like a happy couple huh??
but maybe things cannot be conclude by its surface..
it made mi realise we might be better off without each other..

been watching tis hong kong movie "The Gateau Affairs"
its abt making cake n stuff..
its funny n yet touching towards e end..
makes mi hungry..
n towards w end of the show..
it becomes meaningful..

know e four season?

Spring means - budding of love
Summer means - Heat of love
Fall - Demise of love
Winter - End of love

which cata i belong to??
maybe Fall
things seem so uncertain n..
i reli dun how to carry on..

today is our 3rd month..
n we nv make it special..
maybe we already took each other for granted..
is there still hope?

just watched my training video..
cant help but to wish im back there again..
training times is always e best..
n tts when my r/s with her seems so pure and carefree..
no commitments, no worries..
everything seems so simple..
no expectations, no hurt..
just a simple friendship..

y is my world so complicated?
...

or am i e one who makes it so?

10:00 PM;
I made my mark

its been some time since i blog..
life as usual..
working, off, hanging out wif her..

work was stress lately..
probs among my colleagues..
working environment tense..
being e middle person is never easy..

1)racial discrimination
2)selfish colleagues
3)misunderstandings
4)problematic inmates

feel so tired..
wondering if its gona end..
talking to her doesnt help..
in fact it just makes mi more fed up..

took 2 days off..
so now on a 6 days holiday mood..
plan to rest n do some catchin up wif frds..

saw my budd's blog..
happy to know tt she's takin e first step
e step out of her past..
new ppl, new beginning..
not easy.. but im glad it happened..
all e best pal..

while mi..
a decade difference in age..
i wonder wads our future gona be like

maybe it will be a fairytale in e beginning..
but im just so scare tt its gona become a nightmare towards e end..
im tired n scared of getting hurt..

whenever the thoughts of her n pat together
an invisible hand grip my hrt tightly..
thinkin again abt our character n our lifestyle..
feels tt we r just not suitable for each other..
not a good feeling..
feels heavy inside..

leaving the way things are now
i just wan peace..
im not confident n im realise tt im not ready to put in all my love..
theres still a wall in between us..
my prob.. of thinkin too deep, too much..
but i still thanks her for all e efforts tt she's been putting in to show her love..

i will try my best to be with her too..

12:46 PM;
I made my mark