after rain comes sunshine..
or is it just a facade?

controlling of emotions..
listening to head rather than heart
trying to adapt..
msgs greatly reduced..
but the longing increases..

how long do i need to carry on i dunno..
im trying to occupy myself..
but.. as times like tis.. i miss her..
i do wish she's beside mi now..

lookin forward to my gary's chalet tml..
just get drunk n no need to tink so much..
feel so no mood..

i reli miss u.. my words might sound harsh, distant.. but u have always been in my hrt, my mind.. i duno how to face myself, not to mention u.. i know tis cooling off time is impt to us.. do we reli need each other?

1:43 PM;
I made my mark

its raining now..
my hrt feels so alone..

feels so numb..
after e numbness comes intense pain n disappointment..
its been so long since i experience tis kind of feeling..

im trying to do wad i preached..
asking her to spend more time wif family..
i understand her decision of going back to her parent's place..
but y give mi tt beam of hope only to take it away?

things has been so bad between us..
i need all e encouragement n signs..
y am i been let down time n again?
am i expecting too much or am i just not important?

i miss the old her..
i wan her back..
but im dreaming e impossible..
it will nv be e same again..

do ppl take things for granted?
hugging my pillow every night instead of her..
screaming my thoughts to her but to no avail..
tears secretly shed, hrt broken n no one knows..

am i destined to led tis kind of life?

im reli lost

10:24 PM;
I made my mark

My tooth is hurting like hell..
i swear its e worst pain ever!!!


went dentist yest n today..
duno how damn long since i step into dental clinic..
believe it or not..
im shivering like duno wad while waiting..
e phobia is just too MUCH

e doc pull my nerves out..
i actually jerk off from e chair..
of course.. my tears oso like waterfall fallin off
when giving injection, e pain is nothing..
its only the PULLING!!
went through e same torture today..
hai.. need to go back 3 weeks later..

bad luck bad luck bad luck..
y cant my luck change for the better????????

quarrel wif her again n again n again..
cant seem to communicate at all..
she sees mi as unreasonable
i see her as not understanding..

cant i tell her my feelings?
y must she interpret it as another thing?
y cant she talk to mi nicely?

is it all my fault?
im so tired of all e quarrels..
i bet she too..

never ending quarrels n pain..

8:11 PM;
I made my mark