Have you been in a relationship? your partner is with you but not with you?
she is with you physically but her heart is still pondering the chance of another relationship with another one....waiting for her to express her feelings to her?
she dun deny it. she loves you, but she is not sure you are the right one. she stil needs to search. you will be selfish, cos you dun want her to search. you are sure you are the one for her. but she is not.
you have her but you dun have her. you understand? you are still having her.
Will she be with you only if the other relationship turns out impossibble? will you feel rejected and rediculed? being used maybe?
sometimes you being to tell yourself you dun mind. you will take it even if she takes you as second best. at least you still have her. and because you love her so much. you dun care anymore. you dun even care if you have her but you dun have her.
you feel deep sense of lost and imbalance.
You have this feeling before?
"i have.."
having hope can indeed make 1 strive hard
but when e hope is being taken away..
it seems.. e whole sky's gone and u feel nothing....
wad is there to believe in when wad u always believe is not wad it seems to be?
i took pride in wad i do..
i worked hard hoping tt my future will be brighter..
but why is it tt no matter wad i do it seems to go down e drain??
im not articulate, nor witty or funny..
in fact ppl always say im so ... cool..
i too wan to be rowdy, be noisy and so full of shit..
tts wad im used to be too..
but now.. it seems.. i changed into another person..
whether its good or bad.. i duno..
was disappointed tt ppl dun recog wad i do..
n im pissed by e management..
im only 22.. still a long way to go..
in fact.. i cant seem find any strength to try harder..
all e setbacks n burdens are pulling mi down..
i feel so heavy..
give mi something to believe in..
